1. |
SST
05:07
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Basically I don’t remember
staring at the switchboard in the house
trying to change the temperature.
And since I only have a cold
I should call my dad and go to bed.
While dialling in, the numbers start to sway:
“Don’t you die before you’re dead.”
I’d know by now
If I leave this house, I’d leave my car
Trailing both my hands
‘Cos I’m gaunt and cast
With my jawline melting
I’m a new Pierrot
Swaying on my ladder
And it’s lucid these stories
They’re stories - no endings.
All at once I am suspending
Belly-lift my standing hands and cool
The fiery eyes that line a cirque
The sultan sings in pink to tame the busters
The ballerina clips below
Naked in a haze of stamping dust
Glory be the whole damn thing.
I’d know by now
If I leave this house, I’d leave my car
Trailing both my hands
‘Cos I’m gaunt and cast
With my jawline melting
I’m a new Pierrot
Saying “I’m not gonna…”
And it’s lucid these stories
They’re stories - no endings.
“Sally come home and remember”
They just say
“Sally warm up it’s much better”
And say
“Sally come home to redeem us -
Ballet dancers don’t live in trailers”
And say..
“Sally come home to remember”
They just say
“Sally come home it’s much better”
And say
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2. |
Dancing with Lara
04:07
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Dancing with Lara
I swing into circles and
Run into refuse that’s swirling the street
Move like a carousel
Move like you’re babies
Crawling the forest floor
As if you knew that you hadn’t eaten
Now I’m in Perugia
I know I’m on top here
And pulled by narcotics
Taken by all
You’re in the saddle
You’re tryna be honest
I can see battles
Torn by your mind but
You don’t have to be right.
Hoping that you’re stable
Hoping that you’re someone-somewhere soon
And you don’t feel like it’s a freedom for me
But I won’t hold you to your word if you don’t know
If you don’t know.
I was violent, on fire
I had only one dance
One dance with Lara and then she turned back
Whilst it was tiring
I feel like myself again
Fallen for it now
And I was wrong
I wish I hadn’t been your temporary,
I can tell you it doesn’t feel so temporary now.
Oh my god
I was on fire
When you came down
And left me hanging with your eye-line on my back
Oh I was on fire
With you standing on the stair
Making me my own fool.
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3. |
Piano 1
04:14
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Caught in a rut
Throwing this cup at your tongue
And God heard you talk
I only see motionless mouths
And so I'll come
Far from the heart
And settle myself as some outlaw
Now, tell me a story,
Come on just rattle me out.
You can’t just take your eyes off me
and hope we draw away complete
“Gonna leave when I want
I feed my heart alone”
You can’t just move your mind from it!
“I made myself: I’m made complete
I can feel what I want”
but you know that you won’t.
Good isn’t rough
Drinking my cup you just hum - like you know
“Good’s where we talk
Forget what we already know so
Come as you are”
Fuck you - it’s not what I came for.
So just tell me a story,
Something to stop me spiralling out.
You can’t just take your eyes off me
Cos I won’t draw away complete
“Gonna leave when I want
I feed my heart alone”
You can’t just move your mind from it!
“I made myself: I’m made complete”
You can’t feel this all alone!
We’re tied and that’s the course of it.
I hurt.. I would say it hurts..
And I can’t let you out.
I was taken round
By fables we spun on a spark.
Tell me how you
Can separate out.
Came here so I would talk to you
Make it like a talk
…Some hours
Courage from your taken tour
You know that I’ve not had enough
This time I won’t be only trying
I’ll be out and drawing the lines!
So curl your head I feel you tiring
Tiring won’t abate your fire and
Firing won’t keep me from kindness.
Hating won’t…
Saying won’t…
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4. |
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Leave,
While I was sweeping out your circle with a chalk and key
To know,
To pull a molar out my mouth and place it in your jaw.
A line…
Still you knock the cup, flip it spins and lands unspilled
To control:
Lift your arms to breathe it’s harder, watch your armpit grow
You go -
You’re a kite in your long coat you got there on your own
To her.
All the things that I forgot to say were left until the end.
Fear,
I hoped we could still make friends and live in love together.
I want you to breakaway /
I wish you would wait.
I was on a left one
I was travelling in a lift
And I woke up with this other woman in my head
I was listening to her London
I was playing with her words
Running through her paranoia
things she could have said.
Falling towards the light
I wasn’t at the top yet
And if I hadn’t met her
I’d be queuing at my bus stop
Fiddler in the roof
He cycles past - I hear it too!
I’m calling out your name
But you only tell my friends.
I was with her for the afternoon
Then I left her with myself
I texted all the people that
I thought that she could help
Trying to match up with my friends
She left me with all of her problems
And when I went back to the lift shaft
I was met by the back of my head.
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5. |
Peeling
03:40
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Peeling
Peeling like a ceiling
When you walk your eyes close
When you hold my arm
You don’t like letting go
Sleep thief
It’s why we only had one photo
Of us with my eyes open
Then you are with someone else
Always feeling someone else
With your left hand
Screaming
Can you fit your fist in?
Can I close it with my teeth?
Cover up a reddening complexion
With the idea, with a lie
That I’ve only got one connection in mind
If you only had one more hour left to commit to me
If I was less attacking
If you were better enriched to commit to me
If I was less attaching
Chewing on your cheek
My mouth inside your mouth
Can taste it start to bleed
You’re gonna spit me out
But then you start to laugh
(Like Noah in a whale)
I’m pushing with your breath
(...a tooth loose from a punch)
I’m falling out your gape
I’m the spittle in the air.
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6. |
Horses
04:41
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Mellow me out
(And on and on and on and on…)
Hooves on the heath bring a thunder down
Born to us and mention...
I’m hoarding all
My glassy pools
In reach of mules
With white crosses for eyes
Horse in dark
Horses trample houses
Horses smooth
Horses kicking and
Meek and mild
Horses like me
Foaming at the feet
Chomping at their teeth.
You’re saying that you don’t need anyone
but it’s all you can talk about.
Horses fast
Breathing, sleeping
Dust and cuffs
Horses fasting and
Meek and mild
Horses like me
Steaming in their seats
Smoking in their porches.
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7. |
Peeling / Heaven
03:20
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Tiny
Keeping it outside me
I know that it’s just like me
It’s where it’s so divisive
I’m only underlining
The places where there’s kindness
In your left hand.
I’m not bold enough to be your heaven
Not tall enough
Not wide enough to be your..
Not far enough.
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8. |
Estrella
04:37
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Colour in the back of your mouth and settle
Wine stains at the stack of your house and I settle
Quaint and round as we’re pedalling ground- it’s so special.
All along they’re playing that song.
White lines calling your eyes out to the corner of our house
And in the morning in our house
You’re crawling out as I’m laying you down it’s so hetero.
It’s always something terrible
When you wake me up in conversation
And we never made it vulnerable
I was listening but I wasn’t patient.
I’m just letting you know..
Pulling your head from the steam I spill lemon
Headphones on and they’re playing that rhyme
I fell asleep before I knew it’s what they’re playing all the time
Playing all the time at the top of your house.
All songs reach for their form to keep from ending their story
And the corner of your house
Is falling down as we’re circling round.. I should head off.
Can you see your fortress when it comes down?
Balance keeps you in a crowd
Bar me like it’s a Truman town
Quietly quietly I’m falling down
And they say it’s like a New Moon town
I brush my coat down and sit down next to you
And the silence that precedes it
It’s like nothing
It’s like nothing ever was.
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9. |
[flowers]
04:14
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With my cheek I’m idle
Smudging at the window
and I feel your fingers
Wrapping round my solo
and it lays me down
Pressing on the carpet
When you close my eyes
Do it with your fingers.
And it’s only now
After taking patients
and my fire fills up
Flaring with some anxious
I can hear a gentle
Someone saying sing me
Something better
Better than you’re feeling
My love, my love makes it all louder,
Time out, time that makes me forage powers
My love starts from people calling ‘my love’
When their love waits another hour.
I’m slouching
/And it’s late
Oh my heart
My anger
/Grows might take
There’s a pull of chorus
/Pull of models cooing me up
/They touch me mark my face out
/I’m launching from the hand on my cheek
Oh my heart my ribs grow
/The thumb I know, the pull of the palm
and the fools don’t know what’s wrong
/that lays on, lays on, lays on me.
But I’ve got my memory on it.
/Ride it high in your navel
/Like the wind hits a waveform
My love, my love wakes up to its humming
By now blazing tirades have me burnt out
My eyes crying out all this tannin
Be louder but morning talk won’t allow it.
My love, my love makes it all louder
(It’s) your now Mima! Time to climb from this tower,
My love starts from people talking powers
My love waits another hour.
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10. |
New Recording / Reaching
04:52
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Reaching...
Reaching for something farther out
Reaching...
Something deeper
Something worldly
I can speak of you
If you need me to
I’ll sing of a pain
Make it work again.
I was on my back
Reaching out to fill my shoulders in the cracks.
In light and limbo,
I’m in August in a bus watching you be.
Just to sleep
With a hard look on your face in folded arms -
Come on, keep your fire.
In shifting moon
Lying turgid 8 months later thinking how
you speak of dreams.
I know they’re lucid - you only mention them
halfway through the afternoon
Like you’re letting us know
Where you were all this time.
Reaching...
Reaching for something farther out
Reaching...
Something deeper
Something worldly.
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11. |
the Well of...
04:45
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Call my light on
It’s only dark I know
and the water runs out
From the same tap now
You’re a killer inside you’re a pusher
You beat me down and pat my head
You’re a controller.
I roll my windows down
I like the way the sound
Moves around all the cabins that I’m in
and I prefer the silence
In the morning
Please don’t talk to me
I liked the way it was…
And I’m waiting
For someone to say that it’s okay
And I’m waiting
I am sitting - making my way one way, but not the other.
And I’m trying
but it doesn’t seem to be possible that someone who knows me
Walks in my direction
and it’s painful to say the least:
That I’m not lonely but I am.
I am.
(and now I walk in as the cars go by my door
I want one more love one more chance)
Contrast the snow
I was not bold enough
Although you show
I wasn’t ready for it at all
I jumped and fell
200 miles down
into the well…
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